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Lutheran Central |
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Fictional News Story Hopes To Add Insight |
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SEA OF GALILEE--Jesus of Galilee has been suspended from all ministerial
activities until further notice for teaching and healing among harlots, lepers,
tax collectors, and other non-believers, sometimes in very large crowds in
public places, say well-placed sources in the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church,
the religious organization that up to now has claimed Jesus as a member.
According to one source, Jesus’ recent activities brand him as a social deviant,
irreligious, and irreverent. Jesus, reputed to be heavy into partying among
marginal social groups, could not be reached for comment because he had gone
fishing with supporters, but it is well known among the Synod that Jesus
has also been warned in the past by religious officials for having profaned
the temple as well the Sabbath. Whether Jesus, who is counted among the area’s
homeless, will appeal the Missouri Synod decision or simply change his membership
to one of the other mainline Protestant denominations—such as Baptist or
Methodist, or even convert to a new religion—is unknown at this time. Nevertheless,
those who know the roving preacher well describe him as a free thinker with
little patience for the rich as well as those who consider themselves spiritually
privileged and are betting that Jesus, who hates to be told that anyplace
is off limits, may well go it on his own and trust fully in his Father in
Heaven, rather than try to conform to the rules and regulations of the Missouri
Synod. A recent Sea of Galilee poll suggests that the Synod decision is unpopular
among a majority of Missouri Synod Lutherans who love Jesus and believe
in his teachings. However, other more conservative members are convinced
that "it is time for Jesus to either repent or get out now!"
Bernie Schaeffer Member Missouri Synod Lutheran Church
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