When a Lutheran do as the Lutherans

 When you're a Lutheran, do as the Lutherans do

Lutherans do:

...volunteer to shovel the sidewalk rather than take the only open pew up front.

...sometime skip the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.

...hold a hymnal ...during the entire service  but never look down at it.

... hum the hymns during communion so they can see who's at church that Sunday.

...think Garrison Keillor's got his stories from your congregation.

...experience midlife crisis switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.

...apreciate Jell-O prepared in the proper liturgical color for the season.

...forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.

...frown on anyone saying "Praise the Lord!". We politely remind them that we don't do that around here!

...think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least 2 hours long and people disagree on issues.

...think its normal when their five-year-old recites the Old Testament books as Genesis, Exodus, Lutefisk...

...laugh if anyone asks if there's any "decaf coffee". We know that if it doesn't have caffeine, it isn't really coffee!